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“Do you prefer fashion victim, or just ensembly challenged?”

March 22, 2010

Do you ever see a particular item or style of item in the store and wonder, “who on earth would wear that?” And then you realize that item or style is this season’s “big thing” and you’re left with a huge sense of confusion and sadness and befuddlement for the fashion industry, and everyone who would buy it? No? Just me…?

Anyway. I’ve written about a few of my favorite spring trends, but can I take a moment (or entire post) to discuss the more hideous ones? I want someone to convince me that these are not as awful as I think they are.

Rompers and Jumpsuits

Come and knock on our door… We’ll be waiting for you…

Every time I see a romper in stores, I die a little inside. I haven’t worn a onesie since I was an infant, and I don’t intend on wearing one ever again. Not only is it difficult to find a flattering cut, I imagine they’re extremely annoying to take on and off (I’m thinking about bathroom breaks here). They’re a little whimsical, in a ’70s-roller-skater kind of way, but I remain unconvinced that they can be flattering on the majority of women. The five people who can pull these off shouldn’t make the rest of us think we can.

Double denim

DJ Tanner called. She wants her shirt back.

I realize denim is “making a comeback” (also, when did it ever truly go away?), but I still hate hate hate double denim ensembles. I can occasionally forgive if the outfit includes two different colors of denim (I’m thinking dark blue jeans with a white denim jacket), but these are rare. Why not wear your cool, updated, non-’90s-throwback denim jacket over a sundress if you must? Or perhaps a casual denim shirt (shudder) with a non-denim skirt? Also, don’t forget to be wary of light denim. I know it’s everywhere right now, but be sure it doesn’t make you look 15 pounds heavier. (Thank God we’re past jeans with faded patches on the thighs and butt. Why emphasize those areas? Why? Why?)

Harem pants

I can’t touch this. And you shouldn’t either.

These are just baffling to me. This is a universally unflattering trend, and I have no good explanation as to why the style is even making a comeback. Unless you’re dressing up as Aladdin, Jeanie or MC Hammer for Halloween, I beg you to please reconsider this style.

Trends come and go, thank goodness. I’m willing to hold onto some longer than I should (I still wear leggings — with my rear covered — but they don’t hit at mid-calf anymore), but others don’t deserve my time or money. (Of course, they all deserve my judgment.)

What trends or styles are you psyched about for spring? Anyone want to convince me to try on a romper when I can go shopping on April 29? (Not that I’m counting the days or anything.) Any other hideous spring trends to add to the list?

All images via Forever 21

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12 Comments leave one →
  1. Claire permalink
    March 22, 2010 8:06 pm

    Target has so many onesies right now that I think are soooooooo cute….but then I remember that they are onesies and I swore to myself I would never be caught dead in one. I haven’t bought one yet, but I’m not gonna lie, I have seriously thought about it.

    • March 22, 2010 8:50 pm

      Everyone seems to be on the fence most about rompers, and I have to say I agree. There are definitely some cute ones out there, and I wouldn’t be opposed to trying one on, but I think I would feel completely ridiculous in one. Hopefully this style will run its course quickly…

  2. March 22, 2010 8:25 pm

    I bought a “onesie”/romper from H&M at my sister’s convincing. I tried wearing it out a few times during a summer in Athens, but I felt so self-conscious the entire time. There’s no hugging (aside from the boobs) so it just feels like you’re wearing a sheet on your bottom half. It ended up working really well worn over a bikini to the pool. It felt much more appropriate there than anywhere else. (I still think they’re adorable, though. I just can’t pull it off.)

    The double denim — I completely agree! The GAP is all OVER this trend right now, and while I’m crazy about some of the new denim jacket styles, wearing them with jeans just feels like a little much.

    I still haven’t seen these harem pants in stores. They look like gaucho pants’ retarded cousin.

    • March 22, 2010 8:51 pm

      I think the pool is the only place I could seriously see myself wearing a romper. I’m so conflicted about them.

      I’m so glad you agree with me about the denim. Even floral-patterned denim is making a comeback! Why? I know Lisa Turtle was probably all over it, but I just can’t.

  3. March 22, 2010 8:35 pm

    ughhhhhhhGHGHGHHHHUUHGHHH harem pants. hate me some harem pants. they really have to be the most unflattering pants ever.

    but.

    i can’t lie about my love for rompers right now. i am seriously considering buying this one from anthropologie (it’s on sale!): http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=923454&navAction=jump&search=true&parentid=SEARCH_RESULTS

    really, rompers only work on normal people if the shorts are full enough to (almost) look like a skirt.

    • March 22, 2010 8:53 pm

      OK, that is pretty cute. It doesn’t look like a romper, which is most of its charm. Those floral ones need to stay in 1990. I’m just sayin’…

      I honestly can’t handle harem/Hammer pants. Anything that makes my hips look bigger gets two thumbs down. Why????

  4. March 23, 2010 8:12 pm

    I think the worst trend I’ve seen in magazines is high heeled clogs. WHAT?!?!?! Was I a fool to get rid of my Birkenstocks? No…clogs are dead. Recognize.

    • March 23, 2010 8:38 pm

      Ah yes. Clogs. Thanks for reminding me.

      OK. I actually own a pair of high-heeled clogs. They have straps around the heel, which I think is the key to not looking too ’70s. I have seen some high-heeled clogs that made me go, “whoa” (in a negative way), but I do like wearing mine with skinny jeans or a floral dress.

      Reference: http://todaysresolutions.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/img_0330.jpg
      (And yes, my Birkenstock clogs in the background because Phillip had a “high school” theme party and authenticity was a must. I don’t know why I still have them, but I did have to go to my parents’ house to retrieve them.)

      P.S. Your blog name is the greatest thing ever.

  5. Laura permalink
    March 23, 2010 8:20 pm

    I think you should ban me from commenting on your posts: I hate all three of those trends. And I also hate the uggs-with-leggings trend. Actually, I hate Uggs in general. I’m sorry, I lived where there was real snow, and make all the “waterproof” claims you want, Uggs WILL NOT WORK trudging through 2 feet of snow for 1.5 miles to class. And must they really cost $150-200?? Seriously, if I’m spending that, I want me some functional Goretex.

    Although I am now intrigued by the idea of being MC Hammer for Halloween…especially since there will most certainly be a wide variety of appropriate pants on the super-clearance rack this year!

    • March 23, 2010 8:41 pm

      I would never ban you! 🙂 And I’m glad you agree with me! I hate Uggs with leggings as well, but I will say I’m guilty of wearing them (Uggs, not leggings) home from the yoga studio in winter.

      Also, you’re SO RIGHT abut the Uggs-in-snow! During the “blizzard” of 2009 in Athens (we did get about 8 inches, which was pretty crazy for the area), I wore my Uggs in the snow because I couldn’t find my rainboots. They got totally soaked and I had to stuff them with newspapers. Shocking.

      I’m definitely considering being Jasmine or something for Halloween. These harem pants mystify me, honestly. I’m at a loss for words, which is rare for me.

  6. Kristen permalink*
    March 25, 2010 10:35 pm

    I thought I already commented on this but I don’t see it. Anyway, I bought a denim jacket the other day and have joined the double denim crowd. This jacket is pretty sick though, so I don’t even feel bad. It is new territory for me, though. Maybe I’ll take some pics in it and subject myself to the jury.

    • March 26, 2010 8:11 am

      I’d definitely be interested in seeing how you wear it. I found a white denim miniskirt in my college from high school that I kept for some reason. Anyway, pretty sure it’s back in style now so I may start rocking it when it gets warmer.

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